I want to be a talentless hack

I want to be a talentless hack with no backbone or dignity. I want to sell my soul on some superficial, meaningless pap of a television show where I backstab other talentless hacks or get really fat so I can get really thin or just flagrantly become a shallow circus freak of a celebrity so I can have my fifteen minutes at thousands of office water coolers the next day. To have standards so low makes everything else so remarkable and entertaining.

Okay, I don’t really want that, but it’s better odds than getting reincarnated as a golden retriever puppy in the Playboy mansion.

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