mucus, rehearsals, football, and GI Joe

It’s been a few days, so, since I should be in bed by now, I figure I’d throw in a wee update.

BTW – if I fall off the planet in the near future, it’s because:
1) I’ve contracted some kind of head cold/sinus infection thing. I’m fine, except my head feels like it’s been crammed with rubber cement and saw dust, so I can’t breathe. Beyond that, just peachy.
2) Bloody Poetry rehearsals have begun in full swing. I reckon their going okay. I’m mostly sitting there like a cast extra from Awakenings – mostly because of #1 above.

I know this is a tad dated, but I can’t resist. The following is for every time that jamesx called my answering machine last season, screaming “HOLY SHIT!! Did you see that touchdown?! Oh my God! Jurevicius, baby!”

So, how bout it jamesx? Did you see that non-Jerry Rice-like maneuver where he ran hard as fuck into that lump of crap on top of Alstott’s shoulders? Even the A-hole Train was having problems seeing straight after that little collision.

Okay – the two dumbest moments of the Pansies/Fuckinqueers game:
1) 1:50 left in the game, and you’re leading by 6. Your team hasn’t made a run for more than 4 yards all game. You’re 3 & at least 8. If you make the first down, you can suck up at least 1:20 off the clock. Do you run? No. But the Pansies did. Why? I dunno, but it cost them the ball, the Fucs got it back and (no thanks to Keyshawn “Don’t throw it in the numbers or I’ll drop it” Johnson) got the touchdown that tied the game.
2) You’re 10 minutes into overtime. It’s like 3 & 15. You’re somewhere around the 50. First down can mean a field goal. Blow it, and you punt it, and probably won’t see the ball again. You’re up against #2 defense in the league, but you’ve been passing pretty well against them. Do you toss it back 5 yards to your RB? No. But Tampa did. And Gruden did not look happy about it, which leads me to believe it was an audible by Brad “If they bring back old school intentional grounding rules I’m out of a job” Johnson.

But my very favorite part of the whole game – my MVP – Martin “Arrogant Fuck” Gramatica. No cartwheels from the Argentine. If I was a Bucs fan, I’d still hate this guy.

Alright, jamesx, I’ll stop. You have the rest of the season to bask in your glory. I don’t get many games like this past Sunday’s. I’m sure you can start up again next Sunday when they trod all over Atlanta. Just remember this – in second to last play in the end zone at the bottom of the fourth, Jurevicius wouldn’t have dropped that ball.

I’ll leave y’all with this. There’s another one out there that’s better, but I need to find a dependable link to it. Until then, enjoy.

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7 thoughts on “mucus, rehearsals, football, and GI Joe

  1. Man, I wanted to punch MG in the teeth after that game, as I’m sure most of the City of Tampa did. Easterbrook says it’s the football gods’ revenge for the hubris of last week’s pass to Warren Sapp, and I don’t know that he’s wrong. Pride goeth before the fall, after all.

    Okay, I’m not going to make excuses for Key. I went down on the carpet at the sports bar in shorts when he stone-handed that shit. I have the skinned knee to prove it.

    You’re very right, JJ wouldn’t have dropped that pass.

    Did you hear that KJ’s (girl)friend’s (Serena Willams) sister got shot and killed in Compton the day before? That sucks. I can almost understand his being distracted by that, but he makes too much money and has too big a mouth for me to not still be pissed about the drop. His next catch was nice tho.

    Yes, they should have passed upfield on 3rd & 15.

    Sorry ’bout your Niners. I wanted to see them spank the Rams, personally. Mike Martz needs to get fired so the Niners can steal Isaac Bruce or Torry Holt. TO’s absolutely the fucking man, but wouldn’t it be nice to have someone get rid of his constant double-teams?

    So after that little cluster fuck-collision on Sunday, the Bucs slot reciever is… Karl Williams. Karl Williams!?!?!?!? You mean the reason the Bucs still haven’t returned a kickoff for a touchdown? That joker would be lucky to get a job in the CFL. Which Glazer does he have the goods on? Christ.

    The PAT that got blocked at the end of regulation wasn’t blocked only because the Pussies’ D-line got penetration- it was a low kick. I watched the replay; two feet lower and it would have been permanently parked in the center’s sphincter (football alliteration! w00t!).

    Atlanta next week? Chuckie should let Jaquez Green play cornerback and hope Doug Johnson has a Gator flashback. Doug: “Quezzie, you’re running the wrong way!!”

    Alright, that’s enough out of me.

  2. Boy, they have a real thing for tall, body-your-coverage-out-of-the-slant-route guys, don’t they? Lee made some pretty nice catches in the preseason. Hope he’s as good now.

  3. Gruden has said as much that he likes those kinda pass-catchers.

    I can’t wait to see Simeon go after Dougie this weekend. :)

  4. Here ya go sweetheart … thought you’d enjoy since you’re Whiner Fan.


    Ok, so I really don’t know enough about football to be stirring this up, but it doesn’t seem to stop most anyone else …

  5. You went out of your way and found a 49ers-haters website. In some kind of strange way, I’m flattered. In my defense, the 49ers have been dissapointing for so many seasons, it’s a pleasant (albeit frustrating) surprise, when they do something like game 1 and beat someone (even the Chicago emBearassed) 49-7.

    The Bucs on the other hand…. Even though the 49ers never have a good excuse for their constant failings, I never have the opportunity to watch y’all wonder what the Bucs excuse is.

    By the way, I’ve been pretty kind to all Bucs fans – except those with a history of screaming crap into my answering machine everytime Keyshawn doesn’t drop a ball.

  6. I think I only did that once. And even then someone else put me up to it … and as I remember I wasn’t even lucky enough to be the first or last to do it.

    I don’t really have strong enough feelings about the league to “get into it” with most.

    I root for the home team. Nifty. Yay me. Drink some beer and grill some shit. w00t.

    And don’t be that flattered, it took all of 2 seconds to go to google and type in “49s haters” to get some results. The only reason I even had that thought was the wave of “Raider Hater” propaganda that I was flooded with around teh SuperBowl.

    Odd thing is, up to last year all of my football knowledge was pretty much based on NFL Gamedays 1998 – 2002 for PS1 and 2.

    And that you can blame Jason Evans for …

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