I think I might almost maybe (gasp!) like John Kerry!
As I was about to go to bed around 1 a.m., my TV spontaneously â€œturned itself onâ€. It does this occasionally when Iâ€™m about to go to bed. Usually, I flip all eight of my antenna receiving channels, so that the one that the TV â€œturned itself onâ€ to doesnâ€™t feel special, and then I turn it off. However, last night my TV â€œturned itself onâ€ to PBS â€“ not surprisingly since thatâ€™s the last station I was watching, because Iâ€™m a party animal like that. At any rate, PBS was rerunning that nightâ€™s new episode of Frontline. This posed a problem.
Everyone these days has their rubbernecker reality TV show â€“ the show that people just drop whatever theyâ€™re doing to watch because itâ€™s on RIGHT NOW. For many people, I suppose this show deals with several dozen trollops stranded on a deserted ice floe, each of which wants to be Americaâ€™s next pop star and has to determine which guy â€“ who may or may not be entitled to more than $500 in trailer park real estate â€“ she is going to marry by pouring black widow spiders on his genitals while she walks off a burning zeppelin wearing a g-string and a bungee cord. For me, Frontline is my reality television. Like I said, Iâ€™m an animal like that. Go ahead: sling your accusations that I have a warped sense of â€œrealityâ€. I can live with it.
Last nightâ€™s Frontline topic was a dual biography on John Kerry and W. Bush. Typically, this would be a limpwristed yawner in my book, but this wasnâ€™t the standard Browkaw/Jennings network news filler. It was Frontline, so I decided to watch it.
It was an interesting show. The show would focus 5-10 minutes of what one guy was doing in his life during a certain timeframe, and then would focus the next 5-10 minutes of the other guy during that same period. Then theyâ€™d chronologically go to the next block of time and repeat the format. The show didnâ€™t get mired down in a lack of Reserve attendance reports or Swiftboat conspiracy theories. It just did an unbiased report on their lives and their work, complete with verifications from respective friends and associates.
Now, for those whoâ€™ve been reading my columns the past year or so, youâ€™ll know that Iâ€™m not exactly a Kerry fan. Much of this stems from a special place in my heart that makes me want to kick Democrats in their kidneys. Stereotypes exist for reasons, folks, and to me they apply no better than to the types of smarmy slugs who slime the corridors of Capitol Hill. But Kerry is starting to prove that he may not be the standard Democrat that I love to hate.
Perhaps the greatest injustice during this campaign (not counting any time that Bush opens his stammering lying maw) has been the Swiftboat issue. I never believed those assjackals who were calling Kerry a liar, especially when their motives (a.k.a. special interests) were uncovered. However, the whole thing stank so bad, I never wanted to hear anything about it or John Kerryâ€™s past in the 70â€™s.
What I didnâ€™t realize was that Kerry spearheaded the coalition of Veterans against Vietnam. (Yeah, I knew he was involved, but I didnâ€™t know exactly how much he led it.) Not only did this take an enormous quantity of balls, but he did it very well. He did it so well that, after Kerry testified to Foreign Relations, Nixonâ€¦ well letâ€™s just say â€œendorsedâ€ a clean cut weasely shit of a veteran to speak out and basically call Kerry a liar. (Sound familiar?) This led to a debate on the Dick Cavett show, where Kerry â€“ much to the chagrin of a cheering live audience â€“ calmly and deftly handed said smug fucking punk his ass for a hat.
Kerry eventually made it to the Senate, and subsequently the same Foreign Relations committee he testified for years prior. After that, he got politically kicked in the balls for trying to negotiate an aversion to a war that Reagan was trying to fuel, and then voted against Persian Gulf I. (Then, I went to bed.)
Somewhere during the above two paragraphs, W. became a born-again Christian when he found Jesus in a Holiday Inn via a traveling evangelist. Billy Graham had nothing to do with it. No, Iâ€™m not making this up.
For those of you who already knew this about Kerry, yeah, I know: duh.
Now, Iâ€™m not saying that Iâ€™m all in love with Kerry. Heâ€™s not Nader after all, and Kerry has made and not made some decisions that I donâ€™t care for. Butâ€¦ between this and the debates, Iâ€™m starting to warm up to him. In some ways I think he may be smarter and coming from a better, truer place than Clinton. Maybe not craftier, but less likely to be a Republican in Democrat wool. I will say that my vote is starting to become not just about defeating Bush, but about voting for someone that I could legitimately support.