Why Ralph Nader rocks your mom and John Kerry is a limpdick fuckhead

This is something that’s been on my mind for awhile.  I’m only writing about it now, because I’m seeing lots of little puddles on the floor after it was announced that Nader is on the Florida ballot.  To this, my response to all of you is: boo-frickety-fuckin’-hoo.

Ralph Nader did not prevent Al Gore from winning the 2000 election.  Al Gore did.  I’m tired of hearing how Nader’s indirectly responsible for all the doom in the world.  Gore still won the popular vote, and Bush still became President.  Pat Buchanan pulled as many votes from Bush as Nader did from Gore, so the third party left and third party right cancelled each other out.  The Florida count was decided by Al Gore’s mediocre performance, Katharine Harris rigging the election, and the Supreme Court.  Also, please don’t forget that the other 49 states also have electoral votes: it didn’t have to come down to Florida, and Gore could have won those, too.

As far as this election is concerned, everyone who is panicking over Ralph Nader is pissing themselves because you think he holds some obstacle to defeating Bush.  Note that I said defeating Bush, not Kerry winning.  The truth is Kerry is a limpdick elitist who doesn’t look much different from a middle of the road Republican.  In any other given situation, you may not likely vote for Kerry.  He is not the best this country has to offer.  He isn’t even good.  But he is what the Democrats (dipshit pussies that they are) have chosen, so you support him like he’s actually worth voting for, and that’s the problem.  Kerry is not worth voting for, but people such as those panicking over Nader will vote for him, because they’re on their heels and against the ropes.  That is why Nader is running.  You should never have to vote for someone because you’re on your heels.  You should vote for someone because they are a good choice and not because they’re not a retarded fuckwit on a mission for Jesus.

If there is anyone who is actually a good example of American democracy it is Ralph Nader, because we have been reduced to the very best of two very, very substandard and inadequate parties, and he is trying to beat that system.  There is no law that says there should be a two party system.  In fact, many of the Founding Fathers were originally against parties, because they eventually funnel into an extremely narrow and flawed group of power mongers who brutally muscle out the competition.

And don’t think that Nader is doing this for an ego trip.  You don’t build a 40-year career of protecting the common consumer and citizen from being strong-armed and screwed by the powerful and Machiavellian few because you have to stroke your own ego.  Nader is running not against Bush or Kerry, but against the malicious and faulty system that created them.  Your railing against Nader is more of a support for that two-party system than Nader’s campaign is a support for Bush.

I am not saying vote for Nader.  I’m not voting for him, because at this time, amputating the gangrenous and cancerous limb is more important than trying to simultaneously heal every illness in the system.

Truth is, anyone desperate enough to worry about this is going to do what they think is best to oust Bush, and that means voting for Kerry.  Anyone who is that ardent of a Nader disciple is going to vote for him.  I don’t care if Ralph’s running against JFK and Thomas Jefferson; they’ll vote for Nader anyway, and if he’s not on the ballot, then they very likely won’t vote at all, because there’s no one else remotely like him on the ballot.
If you’re whining about Nader, that means your desperate to rid Bush.  That’s fine.  I am too.  But don’t let that desperation make you think for a second that you’re voting for Kerry, because you’re not.  You’re voting against Bush, and no one in a democracy should ever be forced into voting against someone.

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