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So, someone in the White House squealed. Verbal opponent to the White House’s claims of evidence and U.S. ambassador, Joseph Wilson, has a wife. She’s a spy. Now the Justice Dept. is staging an official whodunit to find the performer of the felonious act.
Know what? I don’t care. It doesn’t matter.
99% of Justice Department inquiries into this kind of thing turn up jack, if they don’t fade into the dust before that. Add that to the fact that Congress and White House are run by the same party.
This could very easily be smoke and mirrors. Granted, I’m falling victim once again to my one major flaw with this administration: giving them credit for having brains, much less the Machiavellian minds that their predecessors have had. But, fact remains, W.’s losing the popularity contest fast. It’s in the papers every day, and he’s not gaining any ground. When would be a better time to fill the front pages with fluff, buy some time, stall until the next round? Some a-hole is one of thousands to stand up in front of everyone and call you on a bluff (and you’re bluffing.) Write that asshole’s name down. Time comes, we’ll screw him to the wall. What’s that? He’s clean? But his wife is a spy. Ooh. Spies. Tom Clancy, Mission Impossible, James Bond. People love that shit. Leak it. Someone on our staff is a dickweed? Fine, when we drag out the investigation as long as we can, hand out his name. Give him a severance and a monogrammed tennis racquet for Club Fed.
It’s not impossible. In fact, it’s not uncommon; it’s how things work.
Now for the humor. Here’s a 9/30/03 quote from monkeyfucker himself, his first public admission to the event: “if there is a leak out of my administration, I want to know who it is. If the person has violated law, the person will be taken care of.”
Now, here’s a bit of the Monty Python sketch improvised by the White House and the Press the day before:
QUESTION: Why doesn’t [President Bush] simply ask those – if, indeed, this is true – to come forward and …
McCLELLAN: Ask who?
QUESTION: The President of the United States-
McCLELLAN: Ask who?
QUESTION: The limited number of people-
McCLELLAN: That’s the Department of Justice, I just said, is the appropriate agency.
QUESTION: Why doesn’t he ask them to come forward and hand in their resignations?
McCLELLAN: But who? I said that it’s a serious matter, and anyone should be pursued to the fullest extent of the law.
QUESTION: -why doesn’t he use everything in his power to smoke them out?
McCLELLAN: The Department of Justice is looking into this. I’ve made it very clear the President believes the leaking of classified information of this nature is a very serious matter, and it should be pursued to the fullest.
QUESTION: And he has no – his hands are tied? He can’t simply ask his staff?
(Here’s the whole sketch, as well as a bunch of other goodies.)
So, if I had the choice between this, and what was on the front pages before, I’d like to see the real stuff that was burying the White House. A personnel problem is not newsworthy. If I had it my way, there’d be every report of every dead GI on the front page every day.
By the way, 1 soldier dead, 2 wounded. Wanna guess the country? C’mon, place your bets! And the ball drops in… Afghanistan (told ya that one’s coming back). And they weren’t cleaning their rifles either.
The Justice Dept. wants to conduct an investigation? Fine. How bout lying to Congress, us, the UN, the EU, and the kitchen sink so we can blow the shit out of a sovereign nation? I don’t care specifically what’s on the front pages, as long as it’s not a bunch of irrelevant crap that detracts from the hole that the White House has dug itself.
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It’ll never happen, but it’d be nice to see Rummy or Rove in the slammer.
As for the dead GI’s in the ‘Stan, yeah, that country is hugely underreported. Come on, how many American journalists really want to go to Afghanistan? Hell, I’m a soldier, and I sure as shit don’t want to go there. They’re doing better there than they are in the ‘Raq, though, I can tell you that.
Ain’t Slate great?
Ain’t it funny how in the name of “protecting ourselves” we now have not one but two potential Viet Nams on our hands? Can anyone say “peace with honor”? No? Didn’t think so….
Afghanistan should be better than it is. On paper, it should be better than Iraq. Not that we would know. I think one of the papers (the Post?) has someone in Afghanistan, but where they are, I don’t know. It’s horribly underreported.
And, yeah, Slate is great. I hate to rely on one news source, but it’s awesome in a pinch.
weren’t we supposed to be rebuilding afghanistan?
yeah. mm-hmm.
Dude, I would loooove to go Afghanistan if I could get a paper or magazine to backroll it. But then…I’m crazy.
splatt
Yeah, I’m in public affairs for the Army. I was supposed to go to Iraq, but that didn’t happen. Turkey said no. So now I’m in DC on an Uncle Sam-sponsored vacation working for Operation Tribute to Freedom. However, at the rate National Guard callups are going, I might end up in SW Asia next year. Who knows. I’ll get to do that crap for free, but I won’t be sending any important stories home, that’s for sure…
I have a writer buddy in the reserves who is on “an extended vacation with his uncle” as he puts it, somewhere in the wilds to SW Asia, can’t tell me where. Looking forward to him getting home so: (A) he gets home; and (B) I can hear his stories.
You might want to check out “The Lion’s Grave: Dispatches from Afghanistan” by Jon Lee Anderson. Besides than Anderson’s a good writer, one of the cool things about the book is that they reprint the e-mails he sent to his editor from the field by sat phone, so you get the feel of what it would be like traveling with him. Very cool.
splatt