• Sep. 23, 2003
• By Shawn
• In Politics
• 5 Comments
• 0

Here’s a thought on how France and Germany could possibly be the key to bringing political hope to the U.S.

Currently, the U.S. is asking the U.N. to pretty much give the U.S. resources, army, and money to deal with Iraq, and then to trust the U.S., because it clearly knows what it’s doing. France keeps dicking around with these asinine strategies, which have no bearing whatsoever; Iraq should be self-governing in two months… no, six… no, one.

What Europe should do is stall. Sit on the fence, vacillate, jerk the U.S. around – but keep the U.S. in Iraq. As things stand, the U.S. can’t just walk out of Iraq with no one left to watch the store. Yeah, sure, I know: provisional government. Whatever. The U.S. splits, and it’ll be Afghanistan, and without another Iraq or Sept. 11, the world can’t overlook another Afghanistan. So, unless a real outside force comes in or donates some serious resources, the U.S. can’t just walk out of the mosh pit, straighten its tie, and return to business as usual. Anarchy is not exactly the model government you want to leave behind as your example of democratic progress.

If the U.N. takes over complete control, then the U.S. can pretty much brush its hands and say, “Well, the U.N. screwed up Iraq.” If the U.N. gives the U.S. everything it wants, with the control, they might be able to buy their way out of Iraq. Not pretty, but again, the U.S. can point fingers at the U.N., and then let them clean up the mess, while the U.S. runs to the banks with fresh Halliburton contracts in hand. However, if you screw the U.S. around, give a little bit here, hem and haw there – then you pretty much stagnate the wind from blowing in any direction.

Now consider this. The Bush dynasty, which sits on the shoulders of the great Republican two-term presidents since Eisenhower, has always had a very strong foreign policy record. Yeah, yeah, say what you want. Nixon was a shit head, and every Republican is evil. That’s nice, but it doesn’t change the fact that the Reps have always relied on strong foreign policy and arguably fucked up domestic issues beyond belief – if they could be bothered. But, some things are changing. Nixon and Reagan aren’t around to play kitchen cabinet anymore. I think the best chefs right now are maybe Kissinger and Baker, but even they’re growing old for this game. (Why the hell isn’t Kissinger dead, anyway?)

My point is, Junior’s foreign policy is waning – I think it’s the weakest since… jeez, I dunno. Ford? Well, it’s fucking weak. The writing’s on the walls: the laughable Israeli/Palestine roadmap, Korea North and South want to nuke us, Indonesia is a shithole, Liberia has flown mysteriously under the radar, I have a feeling Afghanistan is waiting to bite us on the ass, and monkeyfucker just asked for more than he got the first time for a military involvement that was supposed to be over four months ago. And as for domestic progress: gas is up, the economy (which is apparently over its recession) is still acting like it’s in a recession, unemployment is up, we’re over budget and W. wants more tax cuts, even Republicans in Congress are saying the Patriot Act is knee jerk, our Department of Homeland Security has done nothing, and one of the few times W. talked to the American people he said 1) he wanted more to more than double our finances in Iraq, and 2) that Iraq had nothing to do with Sept. 11. First he lied to us. Then he got busted on it. Then, he admitted it.

So I say, drag it out. Keep the U.S. in Iraq for as long as possible. You may be saying, “But, P.R.S., doesn’t that screw Iraq over in the process?” Iraq is a Mid-Eastern nation, which is kind of like any Southeast Asian nation; by western standards, it’s going to be screwed up anyway. I know that’s callous. I don’t care. Put it this way – I’d rather half ass Iraq for another year, than leave it to suffer for another five. France and Germany should lead the White House on, and never give it an answer. If Europe needs to pull a trump card, trade the U.S. any support it wants for all private contracts made in Iraq since 2002. That’ll change the White House strategy real fast.

Then, France should pull the American Revolution II – offer whatever support it can to the challenger to overthrow King George. Beat the U.S. at its own game, throw a regime change, and buy a new leader. Cut a deal with Dean, or whoever: “we’ll help you win the election if you promise in blood to get the fuck out of Iraq, and keep your guns in your country unless you’re legitimately called upon.” I don’t think Dean, or any other Democrat with a winning chance, will turn down that deal.