A thousand points of crap

On Wednesday, the Child President declared a big space initiative estimated at $12 billion, that will put a space station on the moon and all kinds of other optimistic stellar goodness.

Now, before I begin, let it be known that I have always been a huge proponent of space exploration. Sci-fi surrounded me growing up. My JFK moment is easily the Challenger disaster of ’86. (By the way, “JFK moment” is a term I’ve created, a benchmark for an indelible moment in time. It refers to the now classic question of “where were you when JFK was shot?” My parents obviously have the JFK moment. My grandparents may have Pearl Harbor or VJ Day, or even JFK. Younger generations obviously have Sept. 11. For many in my generation, our first JFK moment was when the Challenger blew up.) So, all that said, I’m a big fan of space stuff. I think NASA has been horribly and unfairly mismanaged and left by the wayside for decades. I’ve been watching the recent Mars explorations as much as possible. You get the idea.

That said, the Child President’s declarations for an initiative to step up space exploration is, in a word, horseshit.

First, “Meet the new boss. Same as the old boss.” Goddamn this is getting old. It’s officially election year. We’re around the corner from the State of the Union. So what does Monkeyfucker, jr. do? That’s right: same thing as Monkeyfucker, sr. around the same time in his administration. They both threw out the same old bait. Something no one can say is bad, because, let’s face it, space exploration is cool. It looks great. Americans are by heredity the ultimate explorers, boldly going and so on. Who can say no?

Oh yeah, Congress. Well, they’re just a bunch of party poopers. “What’dya mean I never did anything great as President? I had this whole plan that would put me in history books as the great space president. It’s not my fault they pulled the plug. I’m a visionary. They’re huge assholes. So vote for me and fuck them.”

Think I’m wrong? When’s the last time this guy talked about space programs? A defense secretary could talk about Star Wars to this guy, and Bush would think he’s talking about the movie. The last time this guy noticed stars was most likely when he woke up outside a frat house after a night of blow and g&t’s, probably with his pants around his ankles. Visionary my ass.

Second, much like during Monkeyfucker, sr.’s term, internal affairs have been abandoned, neglected, and mistreated at best. There are a whole bunch of lobbyists screaming at Congressmen for money. Simply, our economy sucks. The fucking deficit is fucking $500 billion! But we’re going to pull $12 billion from… someone’s ass, I guess? Or, if some sources are true, $11 billion of that estimate will be pulled from other current NASA projects, like the international space station. So we’re going to end $11 billion in space programming, and so we can create $11 billion in other space programming. Huh?

Third, last I heard (and I could be wrong), more human feet have walked on the surface of the moon than the deepest part of the earth’s oceans. 75% of the planet is covered in water. Most of this planet – loaded with water – hasn’t even been explored, and we’re currently riveted beyond belief with a place that may have once had water to see if it may have once had life forms that don’t exist anymore. Is this making sense to anyone? We don’t even know what exists on half of the fucking ball we live on. Consider scientific advances with kelp alone. Now consider the loads of potential discoveries. As I write, some fish could be fucking another fish and creating the cure for cancer, but we’ll apparently never know, because Jacques Cousteau was just some crusty old frog who never used a light saber. We’re not interested, because we don’t know that there’s something to be interested in.

Four, and here’s where it gets fun, according to Slate, today’s Washington Post “fronts a piece detailing how U.S. aerospace and energy industries… stand to make billions of dollars as a result of president Bush’s space initiative.” It gets better. In 2000, a scientific “adviser helped write an article discussing the usefulness of Mars research for the oil and gas industries.” Guess where the adviser was from. Go ahead, guess.

Halliburton. Does a fucking day go by in this administration where something doesn’t point to these assholes? For anyone out there who has all sorts of grand conspiracies about Masons, or the Vatican, or the Getty’s or whoever really, secretly rules the world, fold your cards. It’s apparently Halliburton.

Here’s something you may not know: global oil production has hit the plateau. It’s over. It will never peak again. In 40 years, there will be no more new oil. We have loads of it barreled and capped in wells, but new oil = done. It’s literally a matter of time before we HAVE to use alternate energies. We should be using them anyway. But we’re not. Why? Because fucking Halliburton, previously headed by that medieval assjackal Dick Cheney, wants to start going to other planets to drill for oil. This is somehow smarter than investing in r&d for better, cleaner, more efficient energy sources. This is the logic (sic) behind your president’s great space initiative.

Someone can shoot John Lennon. Someone can shoot Bobby Kennedy. Someone can shoot Gandhi. Why can’t… never mind, I’m not even going there.

14 thoughts on “A thousand points of crap

  1. Funny, people said much of the same stuff about Kennedy and, as we all know, he didn’t do anything to accomplish the exploration of space…

    The money and technology generated from such a program will be immeasurable. Recently, on the radio, I heard a report that said something like for every dollar we spend on space we get seven dollars back in revenue and technology. Not just millitary revenue and technology, butr better computers, the internet, etc.

    Think this is a campaign stunt? Hmm, let’s see, he said he wanted this done by a timeframe when he is no longer president.

    Must you always see nothing but bad in this man? Is he truly incapable of doing anything worthwhile in your eyes? If he jumped out of his limo to rush into a burning building would you say it was only a campaign stunt or would you be saddened that he wasn’t crushed in the blaze?

    This is why I could never be a Democrat. Too much doom and gloom and pessimistic politics of failure.

  2. Did you get a free seeing eye dog with that logic.

    1) Never compare a Kennedy, even Teddy, to a Bush. I’m not defending the Kennedy’s. But they are not the same animal as the Bush’s.

    2) Like I said before, I have always been in favor of space exploration. I’m in favor of lots of scientific funding. There are always advancements to be gained on the side, and the same could be said if we explored what’s under our noses, like your nearest ocean. However, the parallel in timing to what the old man did at the top of the election year is uncanny, and I think Bush, Sr. wanted to put a man on Mars. Big fucking deal. One day, we’ll get a guy out by Pluto, and no one in their right mind will say that they’ll get it done by the end of the election year. Anyone can say it, but it doesn’t mean anything. It’s the timing and motives behind it that make me wonder. Of course it’s a campaign stunt. Expect big moves for Medicare, Education, and a bunch of other stuff that hasn’t been mentioned since the last time he ran for office, too.

    You got it: I can only see something bad in this man. He is a greedy, ignorant, spoiled puppet. I’m not pulling crap out of my ass when I say that so much ties into Halliburton. Everything he does is directly connected to something that will benefit the lobbyists, cronies, and other associates that put him into the Oval. Almost every immediate member of his cabinet has former ties into either and energy/oil company, Nixon, or both. It’s a midieval, self serving bunch of fucking vultures. As far as the man personally, HE HAS NOT ATTENDED ONE MEMORIAL, SERVICE, OR ARRIVAL OF A DEAD SOLDIER SINCE HE SENT THEM INTO IRAQ. Don’t even consider screaming hypotheticals about this jackoff running into burning buildings. He’s not a leader, much less a great one. He never will be. He is not a man.

    As far as Democrats…. I’m a registered independent. I hate the Democrats, too, but I hate the Republicans just a hair more. Truth is, I rarely see the difference, and I agree with Michael Moore when he called Clinton one of the best Republican presidents in recent history. To quote the (staunchly Republican) satirist P.J. O’Rourke, “Democrats are the ones who say government doesn’t work. Republicans are the ones who get elected and prove it.”

  3. Are you registered I (Independent) or NA (No Affiliation)?

    I’m registered NA as of now. Although, you know I’ve probably registered myself as everything aside from National Socialist and Communist over the years … which is why I’ve stuck to NA.

  4. Good question. I’m so used to saying Independent that I forgot there was an NA option. I’m independent, but not affiliated to any specific non-Dem/Rep party. For a minute there, I had to think why I’m independent and not NA. I think the reason is that I’m so staunchly against political parties, that I didn’t want any pollster to think that I made a mistake and just left it blank and went to the default, which is NA. Unless there’s a party that’s actually called Independent, which I’ve never thought of before. I suppose I should look that up.

  5. Yep, the Mars thing is transparent crap. Our American mindset does not really appear to adaptable or proactive. We could be likened to Rome just before the fall, likened to Atlantis with all of the barbarian tribes aligned against us, about to trigger an internal catastrophic event. More of the same in our politics. Over and over. Good point about the oceans. That one is a real thinker, especially when we are discovering new fishies all the time. Oil has money, oil wants new money, oil wants your dependence on oil. Oil is a drugdealer. A rich drugdealer, in the “know”. People who know people is how things are (mis)managed. Otherwise, I would have gone to school to learn how to be a Kenneth Lay of Enron. Just what did he “do” anyway? He said he really didn’t know what was going on in the company, so just what exactly is his job description? No qualifications, no idea whats going on, plus a billion dollars. I want that job.

    I am NA.

  6. Christ, I’ll bet there’s a political party called The Political Party. Great, now I have change my voter reg. Sonofabitch.

  7. “What’dya mean I never did anything great as President? I had this whole plan that would put me in history books as the great space president.

    Sorry G.W…. that’s title has already gone to JFK.

  8. Must you always see nothing but good in this man? Is he truly incabable of doing anything dastardly in your eyes? If he ran his limo over a child that was running screaming from a burning building would you say it was one more crack baby off the welfare rolls that was draining the lifeblood of our economy?

    Answer me something, David. Honestly. Have you read anything about G.W.’s past? Anything at all? Do you know anything about him before he became the Republican candidate for President? I’m talkin cold, hard facts here.

    I have to admit, I was kind of jazzed when I heard the announcement, and I honestly don’t think it’s quite as much of an election ploy as it is a diversionary ploy. We had the space race with the commies during the cold war, and as soon as the cold war ended the space program kind of became a side note. Now that we are conducting the war on terrorism space is looking good again, because it gives us something to focus on that doesn’t remind us of the fact that our soliders are getting killed every day.

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